i miss you always

So Cortney left on Thursday to go fishing...I hate HATE it when he is gone. I seriously can't handle it. Then I want to post about how I hate it when he is gone but I don't want all of cyber web to know that he is gone...which leads to me freaking out and being scared. On Thursday I tried to spend the night at Cali's but my kids were not going to sleep so I packed up at 10 and drove home. I knew that if I stayed I would have to wake up EARLY since all of the kids would be so excited to play together. It was a good choice too...because my kids actually slept in until almost ten. I was pretty scared though when I got home. Cortney had tried to show me how to use a gun before he left (scary thought I know...)but just seeing a gun freaked me out so I begged him to put it away. I slept with a golf club instead. Hahahaaa. I know it isn't normal for a lady to be so scared. I kept talking myself out of it and I put my head phones on and was cleaning but then I heard something fall off of a ledge (where we put the keys) so I was scared all over again. I luckily this time had a big ol' stack of books to read while he was gone which always makes the time go by quicker. And he is usually annoyed at me if I just try to read when he is around.

Friday was better. I convinced myself I didn't need to be scared. What happens happens. And...I can be really mean and scrappy so I could at least try my hardest to attack someone if they tried to come in.

Then today I got to go to the Young Woman's General Broadcast. It was awesome. It was my first my first time in the conference center, which is so beautiful. One of the young women that I was with had a sprained ankle, and was on crutches. So right when we stepped on to the grounds a man came up to us and ushered us to the front of the lines...then (after security) another man came up with a wheel chair and insisted she use it (along with a young man to push her). She tried to refuse and no one would let her. It always amazes me...the church is awesome. The talks were all really wonderful...and it was great to see Thomas S. Monson as the Prophet. Wow. I was really grateful for the opportunity to go. It was funny because it seemed like all of the moms and leaders were listening and teary eyed...while a lot of the girls looked very sleepy. The girls in front of me were writing on their note pad..."I am so bored" in bubble letters. I just kept thinking..."well that is ONE good thing about growing up in Utah...being able to attend something like this...in person". I would have LOVED LOVED to get to attend when I was still a young woman. It made me miss my mom...I don't know why it just did. They always really make you feel like you could do anything...and that what you do can make such a big difference. I always felt that way when I was younger...it is good to be reminded as an adult. But what a great night, Thanks Cali for watching the kids and making it so I could go. I really appreciate that.

Cortney got back tonight. Yeah...back to normal now.