Just what I needed.

On Friday I was feeling a little down. I have a great life. Every day I feel blessed, happy, and full. I really mean that. But...life is stressful right now. Usually I am fine. I just have faith that everything will work out...and usually that is enough. But if I really start to think about my life and the future...it can be a little overwhelming. It is a scary world...and every once in a while that gets me down. My dad gave me a little pep talk...and that really helped. He knows me...he knows exactly what to say. Then Saturday Conference started. It was just what I needed. Talk about refreshing. It is one of my favorite weekends of the year. I loved every second of it.

I also should mention I have been feeling so much better. Not all the way, but better. Meds are awesome. Really.

Henry loves being outside...he cries all day to go out. We have been wanting to put a fence across our driveway since we moved here. I found an old fence on ksl for 20 bucks. So saturday morning (before sessions) Cortney got started on getting that done. I can't wait until it is done...Henry's going to love playing out there.

Cortney borrowed the necessary tools and jack hammered our drive way up. Do you know what it is like to have a husband that can fix just about anything?? I do. It is awesome. That boy can do anything...and let me tell you it has got to save us so much money.

Here is the fence we got. Pretty good for 20 bucks huh? It is old and used but it will work. That baby won't be able to get out to the street this summer...yay!

Henry only eats go gurts and gold fish. Naughty baby. (I have been vacuuming up gold fish non stop) They need to be up higher in the kitchen so he doesn't keep pulling them down, and then pouring them on the carpet.

Baby...do you have a mother??

So as I was up going to the bathroom at like 5 a.m. (which is the worst)...and I noticed it snowed. Boy did it. I couldn't believe it...it was like 65 degrees on friday. It snowed all day on and off.

My boys "watching" conference.

Henry feeding Robbie.

Proof that I was there...look at my cute little toes. Also Oliver feeding Henry.

Tired Cortney.

We had a great day...filled with inspiration and food. After the first session Cortney let me take a pretty long nap. It was awesome. Then after second session we headed over to Justin and Angelique's for Justin's b-day dinner. WOW. I ate myself sick. Pulled pork sandwiches and Angelique made Kneader's bread pudding. It was INSANELY delicious.

Just what I needed...

1. A weekend filled with inspiration

2. A fully fenced back yard

3. A long nap.

4. Dinner with my family.

What a great weekend.

One last thing...Spring break is coming up and we have no place to go. We are looking for a cheap place to go (read camp) for the kids spring break...somewhere 5 hours away max. Cortney and I haven't been anywhere around Utah and think we will give it a try. So I turn to you my loyal readers...and ask where we should go. What awesome places are there to go around here?

one of those days...

Today when I opened the fridge a full brand new bottle of teriyaki sauce fell out and almost all of it spilled out...in my rush to stop I somehow made a gallon of mill spill too. What a mess. I was so sad because the sauce was a total splurge for me...what a waste of money. Plus I was starving and it really made me hungry for chineese take out.

For Tyler...

It looks like you inspired Oliver's story writing this day...consider yourself very lucky...

In case you can't read it...

My uncle's name is Tylier. One day me and my dad and Tylier went to the skate park. No one was there. The skate park had grinds and big jumps. One jump is so big! It doesn't even have a ladder. My dad road a bike and so did Tylier. Then I got all sweaty. I whus (was) very hot. I went on a jump. I fell on the ground. I got hurt bad. I laid there until someone came. My skate board got pushed so hard it went up a big jump. Then my dad found me. We left. THE END.

Monday Morning Musings...

I have a bunch of stuff I want to journal...but I know a lot of people don't like a lot of words with out pictures...Just skip this.

All weekend we spent every second at Cali and Joey's for March Madness (well starting thursday actually). It was really really fun, but I am exhausted. We made some dang good food...watched some AMAZING games (go cougs) and just sat around (trying to keep our kids out of the theater). My kids are more than exhausted they are mean...I don't know how long it is going to take for them to get caught up. The weekend was even better because my cousin Angie was in town...so we got to hang out with her too.

When I wasn't at Cali's I was at church meetings. I had three this weekend. At one they were trying to teach me everything I needed to know for scouting...scouting is weird. I know nothing about it and I don't get it at all. Turns out there are a ton of meetings that I am supposed to be going to but I haven't been. I need a scouting for dummy's book. Seriously.

My house is a mess...we didn't eat here much this weekend but we also didn't do dishes...not once. There is nothing that makes me madder than waking up to a dirty sink. I hate it. I tried to get some Saturday cleaning done (once I got home from my 8 am meeting) but both Cortney and the boys were crying about it so I just gave up. (I don't want to be raising a bunch of boys that aren't going to help their wives clean...that is my worst nightmare...) Oh and for the record...Cortney always helps me...I am not complaining about that...he is practically my man servant...haha.

I forced Henry to the ground and made him taste some banana cream pie...he bawled his brains out and then gagged until I cleaned his mouth out. Crazy kid...how can a chubby kid like him not eat pie. It doesn't make sense. (he did the same thing with sour cream...)

Yesterday was Henry's 3rd time in nursery. He cried so hard when we left him. When I went to check on him 5 minutes later someone was holding him and he was crying (like red face, slobber and snot everywhere crying). I stayed in there until he was playing and not noticing me and then snuck out. It was like he finally realized that this nursery thing wasn't going away. Poor baby. They said he cries every time someone opens the door. They also said he LOVES snack time.

I have been thinking a lot about being super strong in the church...and how to raise kids that are super strong in the church. I hope I can do it.

One of the biggest things that has been going on is that my rheumatoid arthritis has gotten pretty bad again. I went off my methotrexate in September so I could start planning to get pregnant again (you need to be off the drug for 3 months before you can start trying). Then when Cortney was laid off in January, I thought there was a good chance I was already pregnant, so I didn't worry too much when my Enbrel (shot) couldn't get refilled (1600 dollars without insurance). When I am pregnant I don't hurt as much. But I keep not getting pregnant, and it has taken me longer to get COBRA set up then I would have liked.

In the meanwhile I have been hurting more and more each day. I kept telling my mom "mom, I won't let it get bad, I will start my steroids before that happens.". Slowly, slowly everyday I got a little worse...until all of the sudden out of nowhere, my hands don't work. It was so slow I barely realized how it happened. It really made me think about sin...and how slowly we go along until we find ourselves in over our heads. It has really hit home with me...how easy it is to be off the path without even realizing it until you end up in the wrong town...you know?

So I woke up this morning and could barely move. It was time. Time for me to start the steroids I have been putting off this whole time. The crazy part is...my hands already feel a little better. I feel like I have some repenting to do...hahaa.

Along with my Rheumatoid Arthritis, I also have something called Sjogrens Syndrome (sounds scary huh...haha)...which is basically dry mouth and dry eyes. My mouth and eyes don't produce saliva/tears in a normal way. I don't have tears...at all. I used to think I never cried...it turns out I probably would cry if my body actually produced tears. I can only imagine how cleansing tears streaming down my face would feel. And my poor mouth is constantly dry. Usually I don't notice the Sjogrens very much because the medicine I am usually on controls it and keeps it at bay. So along with my RA getting worse so has my Sjogrens. It is driving me crazy. Every night my eyes feel like they have 10 eyelashes in them...and my mouth...oh my mouth...it is actually painful. When I try to eat it hurts. BOO. Of course I eat anyway but it isn't fun that it stings. Things that are spicy, or have a lot of acid to them kill...and dry food...forget about it. These reasons alone would have been enough for me to start the steroids this morning. I can't wait to feel better.

Also my aunt Peggy was here last weekend...we went and watched BYU's Dancesport. My cousin Courtney was competing. It was so SO much fun. And it was so fun to see my aunt...we stayed up talking really late one night, I really love my Aunts. I have been blessed with great family...I really have.

There that is all. If you actually read all of this...wow...you are like my best friend.

A post about nothing, and the best news ever

So today I went to get Henry out of his nap and there on the floor next to his crib was my phone!!! For the record I cleaned what I thought was every inch of Henry's room, I moved his bed, I folded all the blankets, I went through the toys...his room is the size of a closet so there aren't a lot of places to look. Henry's pack n' play is right up against a wall so I had put a pillow in between the wall and his bed so he doesn't bonk his head at night...my phone was under that pillow. I have never been so happy. I couldn't believe it. Someone had turned in on Airplane mode before it was lost...so it wasn't ringing. It wasn't even out of batteries. I am so glad to know where it is...I need to email my grandma and tell her I found it...she was so worried. She is back in Arizona for a month or so, and then she will be back at Cali's...we are missing her.

On Saturday before the BYU game we went to a church in the neighborhood so Rob could relearn to ride his bike. He is so good...he doesn't really know how to stop or start but other then that he is really good.

I sat in the car trying to keep Henry kinda safe...

Here comes tons of pictures of me...but I love little Henerbens in these...

Look at those chins..His jeans are getting too tight...haha

See his thighs are busting out of these jeans...

He can run REALLY fast...and then he trips and falls down...all the time. It is awesome. He prances around everywhere. And if I say run run run he goes even faster.

Rob in his pj's

Oliver spray painted and put stickers all over his bike (annoying)...he is so Cortney's kid.

Check out my kicks...I got them at walmart for 5 bucks...

Cortney with his awesome car...haha.

my husband's pretty hot

Yesterday I was looking through Cortney's phone at some of the pictures he has taken. I found something funny in the process...I couldn't believe how many self portraits Cortney had in his phone. I randomly picked 5...he had tons on there...i just counted...over 20. Oh also, cortney has a CRAZY creepy mustache right now. You should see how people react wherever we go. I always say "yes my husband has a super creepy mustach". He hates when I say that. He wants me to act like it is just a totally normal thing. Oliver asked me if dad wears the mustache so that no girls want to marry him. hahaa.

He shaved off his mustache this week sometime. It is awesome. I love it when he shaves his face. It is amazing how creepy (have I said that 3 times now?) a mustache makes you look....

new

So I went from this...

To this...

Needless to say I am pretty bummed about it. My second phone is a 20 dollar pay as you go phone. It seriously is like the same phone I got 8 years ago. I haven't checked but I bet it has memory and snake as the games on it. I heard Cortney saying "I thought if she had a nice phone she would take care of it" hahaha...I really tried, I really did.

For the record my last phone was free because of an insurance claim or something. just sayin'...

Nothing drives me crazier than knowing my old phone is somewhere sitting in my house. Tucked away in a shoe somewhere...or hiding in a cracker box...who knows where it is. I checked everywhere. I went through every closet, cabinet, lifted and moved every piece of furniture more then once...I even cleaned out the whole freezer and fridge, because who knows, it could be in there. I moved the oven even.

I have tried to make peace with it and let it go...but it still makes me sad.

I had my first Sunday as Primary President last week. Cortney was out of town. I started the morning off with ward council. (my neighbor watched the kids) Then I was conducting and doing both sharing times. I had no idea what I was doing. People were like...I think we have to say a prayer now. I was totally out of my comfort zone. HOWEVER...I put Henry in nursery, because I can...and because I couldn't do what I needed to do with him trying to play the piano. It was the best thing on the planet. Even with all the stuff that I had to do, it was my easiest Sunday in a LONG time. Way easier than having to chase and lug Henry around the whole time. I was so happy. It is only a month early but man it felt so good. When I went in there was my baby sitting at the table in his own little chair eating snacks...I couldn't believe he it, he isn't a baby anymore. He even colored a picture. Yikes.

So if you need to you can call me now (who am I kidding...my phone could be lost for a whole weekend and I wouldn't have one missed call...haha).

trying to find the happy...

Cortney is out of town I didn't mention that before...and my phone is lost so I have been pretty sad.

Then this morning my kids let me sleep in until 9:30, when I woke up on my own. They were being so quiet and watching a movie. I love when that happens.

Henry slept in until 11...honestly, I started getting worried so I went and cracked the door to make sure he was still breathing...and then he woke up a couple minutes later.

I had calming dreams of finding my phone all night.

Then I watched this video that I took yesterday morning (on my phone boohoo)...what a good baby...



If that doesn't make you happy...you have a heart of stone.

So annoying

Today I lot my phone...in my house...and somehow the ringer is off. My house is spotless right now, every single room...so it isn't like it is hiding in a pile of clothes somewhere. Cali and I looked for almost 2 hours. we looked everywhere. I mean in the freezer, in all the kids backpacks, everywhere. We even cut under a cushion on the couch so we could see if it fell down there. There is nothing more frustrating to me than not being able to find something. I feel like I am going to explode into a million pieces.

Then tonight we played games with friends and I was just so stressed out inside. It was all I could think about my stinking lost phone. Then I got in a fight...a dumb fight (not like a fist fight but you know how game nights canbe...haha) because I was annoyed and stressed...so now I have 2 things to feel rotten about.

So...if you need to text or call me don't. You can email me.

I am so mad. Where could it be.

I need your help ladies...

Okay...so now that I am 31 I think it is time I start taking care of my skin. So...I want all you all out there to tell me what is the best thing you've used on your face. Don't be shy...help a sister out.

Also...I have had the HARDEST time finding someone that gives a good haircut here in Utah so if anyone has someone they absolutely love please let me know. Every time I just go to someone I have never heard of that can get me in that day and I never get the hair cut I want. I like mine now but it looks NOTHING like the picture I took in to the girl. I would probably even go back to her but she is moving. So...what do you know?

The rest of my big day

My birthday was so great. I don't ever want presents and such...but I can't help it birthdays are a big deal to me. When I was little all year I would count down to my birthday. I would make samantha wake me up with a prerecorded message. It was a little out of control.

I kinda want people to make a big deal of my birthday, and I am totally embarrassed to even say that.

This year was perfect.

After Cali watched my kids for my hair cut, I came home picked them up and took them over to my friend Sarah's. She said she would watch them while Cortney and I went to lunch. I had a birthday coupon to Mimi's cafe so Cortney and I went there. I love being with Cort (good thing!)...we are still best friends after all these years. We had such a great time and then Cort gave me my present. I had told him I didn't want anything but...he got me this...

I haven't had a functioning stroller for months and months. HENRY is HEAVY too. I decided this time around I wanted a fancy umbrella one.

Problem is they are expensive.

So since October I have been looking on KSL (craigslist) for a used stroller. I would check multiple times per day and I never found a good deal. There were tons of regular strollers but none of the umbrella kind. And I had certain ones in mind...I really did my research...like really.

Then I found one that seemed like a good deal, and Cortney secretly called on it and went and picked it up. I was so happy.

He got me a Maclaren Quest...they retail for like $230, but he got it for $50 bucks.

It weighs 12 lbs and takes up no space at all ( a HUGE deal when you have RA and don't have a garage). It pushes like a dream.

I couldn't stop smiling all day I was so happy for the stroller.

Plus the grey color matches Henry's eyes. (he isn't crazy about riding in strollers but he was pretty good this day). It is even easy to push rob in it.

After lunch I picked my kids up from Sarah's and stayed and talked for a while. Then I went and hung out at Cali's for the rest of the day.

Jason and KaeLynn were over at Cali's when I got there and we talked for a couple hours...it was awesome I loved seeing them.

The husbands got home later that night and we went to Happy Sumo again. It was awesome.

Then on Saturday Cali and I went to the Mall for a couple hours because I wanted to buy some sweatpants (funny I know...but I like to be comfy) with my birthday money from the parents.

Can you believe I had that awesome of a birthday?? I know it kinda makes me sound like a diva...and I admit, I kinda am for my birthday.

On top of all that I got tons of emails, texts, comments and facebook posts saying all sorts of really nice stuff. That really made me feel good. Plus my inlaws called to sing me a very enthusiastic happy birthday and they sent me a amazon gift card. I LOVE AMAZON. Plus my grandma Jones gave me some cash too.

The only draw back is I am 31 now and I swear I look 100. :)

I had to post this picture of me and my THREE boys. We had just read a book about all the different kids of frogs and then we decided to youtube some frog videos. We are watching them on my ipad. Henry LOVED it. I love quiet moments like this when everyone is being good. (these moments are rare...that is why they have to be documented).

Today my kids built a fort and ALL THREE played in there for a really long time. I love how patient and kind they are to Henry. That is one of the many benefits of REALLY spacing your kids out.

It's official...

I just got made the primary president for our ward.

It is very rare that I am rendered speechless...this was one of those times.

I had to say good bye to my Young Women, yesterday at church. I was crying. I never cry. It has been a great 5 years. I really love the girls...and the other leaders that I served with...like really love.

Hmmm...I know nothing about primary. Luckily, I have tons of sisters and friends with lots of experience...and...I picked really good counselors so that helps.

Pretty scary, huh?

Happy birthday to me.

So far my birthday has been awesome.

Yesterday Cali and I went to Happy Sumo for lunch. It was delicious. It is my favorite place to eat and even better going for lunch (cheap), plus I had a coupon for 15 dollars off so both of our lunches together was 4 dollars before tip.

Last night I was remembering that Cortney gave me a gift card to get a massage LAST year on my birthday and I still haven't used it. So I called to see if I could use the gift card to get a hair cut instead.

This morning I cut off 8, that is right EIGHT inches of my hair. I am not sure if I am crazy about the hair cut or not (why don't they ever cut my hair like I ask???). However, it is so much better than it was. I FEEL SO FREE. Like I lost 20 lbs of old lady hair. hahaa. I know I can style it better then the girl did so we will see how I feel later. I know however it feels awesome. WOW.

Yeah don't mind that I look 55 in this picture and not 31...bad lighting, bad sleep...

I wish with all my heart that my sister Nicole could have been here to cut it. She is so good with my hair. But...this will have to do.

The great news was it cost me nothing...(gift card yay) and they told me they are going out of business in 2 weeks!!! So if I had waited any longer the gift card would have had NO value whatsoever. THANK GOODNESS I thought to make an appointment last night.

Thanks for all the birthday wishes. I feel so special!

hensbens hair cut

henry's hair was really getting long...

like really long.

I was going to grow his mullet out until it was REALLY long but his hair is so curly and he sleeps a lot...so when he wakes up his hair is CRAZY. I huge puff ball around his head. It was getting out of control.

Here it is after...I know it doesn't look like much but I probably cut at least 2 inches off of all parts of his hair...if not more.

poor baby...he is so sick right now.

He looks just like he did a couple of months ago when he didn't have so much hair. It looks a lot better. I just don't think I am ready for him to be a grown up baby with a shaved head...so for now this will do.

Update

I don't have much to post about.

I honestly think it is easier to spend absolutely no money then it is to just spend a little. Easier for me to have no money then a little. Easier in the fact that I just don't go to the store and that eliminates the whole problem. I went to target on Friday for henry's medicine and i couldn't remember the last time i had been there. Usually I go to target a couple of times a week....it felt weird. Like we had broken up and I was driving by his house in the night...you know?

Oliver had a dream yesterday night that his hand was cut open and bleeding and Jesus came and healed him. Rob had a dream the same night about justin beiber.

I cut henry's hair on Sunday. He looks so much older. I have pictures but now that cortney is using the computer he will have to email it to me.

Rob started throwing up in the night...i mean really throwing up. I mean like every thirty minutes and just so much. He is having to sit on the toilet with a bowl in his lap if you know what I mean. He begged me to take him to the doctor. I hate seeing him like this.

About a half hour ago I was sitting with Henry on my lap giving him a breathing treatment, and rob was on the couch next to me throwing up in a bowl. It was one of those Holy cow moments. One of those moments that make you really realize that you are totally doing the mom thing.

I don't know why Rob is throwing up.

I made my kids chicken nuggets (you know from the bag in the freezer section) for the first time in their life last night. I have never gotten those before. My kids thought they were amazing. hahaa.

Henry is a little better. He is crying a lot...especially when I have to help Robbie with something. He doesn't like me to close him out of the bathroom while we are inside.

Speaking of Henry. When he can't find me he always crawls down the stairs and looks for me in my bed under the covers. Hahaa. hmmmm what does that say about me??

Now a couple pictures from my phone.

The door to our bathroom has to be closed at all times...if Henry even hears the door open he runs there as fast as he can. He loves getting in the toilet or climbing in the sink. Drives me crazy. I have a sixth sense now to feel if the bathroom is open or not. This little guy is a trouble maker.

Rob said..."if you don't want me to barf on you you need to take me to the doctor right now!"

Can they do anything for kids that are sick this way??? I don't think so. He really wants me to take him, but there is no way not with a sick Henry too. Impossible

P.s...

Rob loves to say abusive things to me when he is sick. He just said "what would you rather have me do, barf in your ear or in your mouth?" (he is still threatening me to take him to the doctor)

Oh Henry

I took Henry to the dr. At 3:30, his oxygen saturation was a little low and he had double ear infections. He had the worst cough and was really wheezy. He had a breathing treatment but still his saturation didn't get much better. So the doctor sent me over to the bronchitis clinic at the hospital in Provo. By the way, Henry weighs 26 lbs and doesn't help me hold him at all...so it was a long walk into the hospital. Then a nurse made a little baby straight jacket for him out of a blanket, had me hold his head and suctioned his nose with a vacuum machine. Then she stuck a skinny little straw way up his nose and down his throat. He cried so hard. Then the nurse gave him some juice and everything was better.

Then we came home and I headed out to get stuff for the nebulizer and his antibiotic. I think he is going to make a turn for the better tomorrow. If not the doctor said i needed to bring him in in the morning.

My cute little guy, all of the nurses loved him.

He is still being so good...the sweet little thing...well except when he hit Fiona like 100 times.

Poor Henry

Henry is so sick today. He was up a lot in the night burning hot and trying to lay by me. Poor thing, he is never up in the night. He has an appointment later today, but I have a good feeling there will be nothing they can do.

Rob asked me if he can have a roommate that is a girl, or they just have to be boys...I assume he is talking about someday when he goes off to college. I asked why...and he said he wants to be roommates with Corrinna, a girl in his class. Oh boy.

Also...Henry has started showing interest in watching TV. It is so awesome.

I know it sounds funny that I would want my baby to watch TV but...man I can put on barney and he will sit there while I shower....I am about to start looking way cuter (not really...but it's a good thought). Plus, I when I get pregnant with my next baby I know this tv watching will come in handy when I am super sick.

Yesterday Cortney and I went to the temple and then we had a free meal card at chubby's. The carolina pulled pork sandwich is to die for. This thing was enormous.

I don't think I have mentioned that my grandma Jones is living with Cali right now. She has been with her since december and leaves in March. Time is flying by and we are all wishing she would stay forever. I love having her around. Makes me kinda feel like I have my mom around. I KNOW that my kids are loving having a grandma around too. They love her. My kids always run in and give her a big hug. Henry and Fiona like to fight over her and try to get her to read to them. Grandma sits in that chair all day and almost always has a little one sitting by her. I know she loves it. :)

Love

Cortney politely told me that I needed to start posting more.

He is right...although, I feel like I have nothing to post about. I have just been sitting here inside my house.

Today though the weather is just amazing. I love overcast warm days. Reminds me of growing up in Moses for some reason. It has really put me in a good mood.

Cortney and I are having a low key valentines day. We always do. No pressure, no presents...just another day to remember how lucky we are to have found each other. My boys think today is the best and got tons of candy from school. Plus...it was early out and they were both home by 1:30. Rob's teachers gave him a big dr. seuss stuffed animal it is so cute.

Hmmm...what else?

I realize that I left that gross picture of Rob's head as my first post for more than a week. I am so sorry.

My BFF Amber called today and we talked for 1 hour and 39 minutes. Does a body good you know? It was just what I needed.

The other day I didn't hear my kids playing so I went outside to check on them, this is what I found...

The boys up on top of the shed (yes that is indeed a pool filled with weeds...it needs to go to the dump...)

Rob was stuck up there and Oliver was trying his best to help him down...Rob was not happy about this.

Oliver put this board up against the shed for Rob to slide down...luckily Rob was smart/scared enough to not try it. It probably would have ended in another trip to the instacare.

Oli and Rob...cute, crazy, where is your mother? type kids. I am so glad they play together so good (because really they don't have a lot of other friends).

It is nice having all my little childrens to be my valentines...I am lucky to be so loved.

she's my sister...

Cali's birthday is today. I am grateful she was born. I feel lucky to have such great sisters.

We went with Linh and Grandma to pick up Kneader's for lunch. Cali's neighbor took Carolina and Grace, Rob watched tv and the babies took like a 4 hour nap. It was nice to sit and girl talk with no kids running around.

Happy birthday Sister, When I grow up I want to be just like you!

p.s. I had to include this picture that Linh posted from our lunch today. So fun.