Merry Christmas

We just got back from Christmas in Rexburg.  We had a great time.

We actually took a picture all together Christmas morning.  Yes we all had matching pj's and yes...Cortney's are the footsie kind that zip up.  He looked awesome. 

 I have tons to post but only 6 minutes of battery left on my computer...and at least 6 hours of laundry to do.   I will post...soon. 

P.S. Have I mentioned my parents are coming home from their mission in 12 days??  Can't wait. 

My man

Today is Cortney's 35th birthday. It started off on a bad foot when Henry and Rob were sick throwing up in the night. Then Theo was having some gas issues (for the first time ever). When morning came around we were both pretty tired. In the afternoon Cortney watched the kids so I could go and get some last minute Christmas stuff. Poor guy It had to have been the worst birthday ever. He did go play racquetball tonight but came home to a major clogged drain in the kitchen (which he is still working on...and still all sweaty from playing racquetball, but he can't shower until it is done). Poor guy. Luckily I had a birthday dinner/survivor night on Sunday for him. Tomorrow we are going to try again. Maybe go out to dinner or something like that. I feel so bad for him having a birthday so close to Christmas. He got some new glasses for his birthday...he has been needing them FOREVER but we could never afford them. We are both excited for them to come, it will be nice for him to be able to take his contacts out when his eyes are tired. The man has a huge beard right now. HUGE. What can I say? I am grateful everyday for the man Cortney is. He is so kind, and loves me no matter what. Happy birthday babe.

spreading a little Christmas cheer

Carolina video recorded this little gem the other day. I almost had a heart attack when I watched it because...those of you that know Rob know that he isn't one to perform a song...let alone a song with actions. I love it.

due

Yesterday was my due date.  Instead I have now had Theo 22 days (and it is still hard for me to call him Theo...for some reason he is Henry to me...just like Henry was Rob forever). I always miss being pregnant.  I think really I am always just sad that the exciting part is over.  There really is nothing quite as exciting as delivering a baby...it is as good as it gets for a mom.

Today Theo gets circumcised.  He hasn't been big enough for the procedure.  I have NEVER been to a kids circumcision and now today I have to take all my kids (minus Oli) with me to get it done.  That sounds pretty horrible.

This week around here

We have been really trying hard to really celebrate the Christmas season. To make Christmas more about traditions and family and less about presents and electronics.  It has been a little hard since I don't leave the house and we can't really go anywhere outside all together.  We took the kids to see the lights 2 mondays ago (the lights at riverwoods) Cortney and the kids walked around and I stayed in the car with theo.  It took about 15 minutes before the kids got in trouble and we had to leave.  (Cortney never gets them in trouble so they must have been being REALLY bad).  This week we made gingerbread men for family night.  Can you see my gingerbread man holding a cute little baby???  how adorable is that??

Mom and Theo, Cortney, Oliver, Rob and Henry.  I did something that is hard for me a didn't tell my kids one time how to decorate theirs.  I did however have to make Cortney re do his since all he put on his was chest hair and armpit hair.

We watched Elf on Wednesday and then on friday we got a sausage stick and cheese and crackers and watched The Christmas Story (originally we had wanted to watch Griswalds Christmas Vacation...but Cortney and I had totally forgotten  how inappropriate it is for kids. hahaa We turned it off after Clark flips the other car off but before he talks to the lady at the lingerie counter...it has been years since either of us had seen it)

Theo has these preemie gowns that are the cutest things i have ever seen.  Every time he wears them I can't get over how adorable they are.

I took a picture of him next to the preemie gown and then next to a normal newborn sized gown from the same comapany...so you can get an idea of how small the gowns/Theo is. 

I think he is going to have dark brown eyes like Rob. 

Henry has been doing a lot of this lately.  We all stayed home from church (stake conference) today because we all as a group aren't feeling too hot.  Boo.  

On the plus side.  Oliver's eye is looking almost all the way better. 

It really is the most wonderful time of the year.  I absolutely love this time. I wish now it would just snow. 

p.e.

I have been so good since Theo has been born.  I haven't taken him anywhere.  I haven't left the house.  I NEVER do this when I have babies.  I always am taking them all over the place.  I have been trying so hard this time to avoid RSV.  All of my other babies have had it.  Not this time.

However....my other kids, I can't keep them away from germs though.

Oliver woke up this morning with a NASTY case of pink eye.  I wanted to die.  I hate pink eye.  It is the worst.  He has an appointment this afternoon...I want the strongest medicine possible.

Henry also had a fever last night.

Theo is officially off limits to all the kids.  Luckily...he and I spend a lot of time downstairs by ourselves.  And you wouldn't believe how much this little guy sleeps.  I don't know if it is because he is so little and he just needs to spend all his time growing...or if he is just a good sleeper.  He is ALWAYS sleeping.  I have to wake him up almost every single time that we feed him.  After eating he goes straight to sleep.  So it won't be that hard to keep him away from the other kids.

Henry watches TANGLED as much as he possibly can.  He absolutely loves it.  I think it is so cute...and am actually quite in love with the movie myself.

Ahhh yeah

My baby Theo is a superstar! In the past 7 days he has gained 10 oz. Which is tons, by the way. He now weighs 4 lbs 15 oz. So close to 5 lbs! It makes me feel good because all I do is sit in my house and feed him. At least it is working. He is now almost drinking 2 oz at each feeding. When we left the hospital he was only drinking 1/3 of an ounce, which is about 2 teaspoons. What a good boy! The dr said I didn't need to come back until his 2 month appointment. I was in shock. Everyday this baby amazes me.

taking pictures of a preemie is hard...

like really really hard.  Not that Theo is really a preemie...but he is small.   For some reason too...our babies NEVER will sleep through a photo shoot.   This was a lot of work.  We had to heat the house real warm too...because he isn't supposed to be out and about with no clothes on.  Cortney and I were sweating. We did manage to get some cute pictures regardless of how hard it was to get them.  All three of us were exhausted when we were done.  

I was trying to rub his forehead so his worry lines would go away.  Haha.  I love how small he looks next to my tiny hand. 

Worried baby. 

He smiles all the time.  Not real smiling but when he is sleeping he is always making this happy face.  I absolutely adore it. 

We should have put more of a contrasting color under him...but I wanted to show how small he is with this leaf.  

I gave him a little break and he went right to sleep.  

Oliver is such an artist.  He dreams of getting something in the friend.  This is a picture of him getting baptized. 

Henry is going through a stage right now where he won't wear clothes.  He takes them off and throws a MAJOR tantrum if we get him dressed. 

Love this foot sticking out at the bottom. 

A beautiful blanket my aunt Gail made when I had Oliver.  One of my favorite things. 

Theo's onsie says little brother.  

Look at this chubby guy jump.  He loves that he got his clothes off.  To get the clothes back on I had to say, Don't you want to go get a doughnut?  Luckily he forgot about the doughnut later.

He looks just like his mama when he has this look on his face. 

"boys rule"  I had to get a quick shot of him in this outfit.  When I saw it I knew I had to have it with my 4 boys now...this is my new motto.  Isn't it just adorable??

Look at that bum. (this baby does not want to be on his tummy.  AT ALL. 

I had to include these because you can really tell how small he is when there is someone else in the picture. 

prayer works

his shirt says "mommy loves me"...I sure do. 

That is my finger there up by his armpit...he is so small. 

I have been wanting to post all week...and have had so many thoughts and feelings that I wanted to write down.  Somehow I didn't though.   

This has been a hard year for us.  Starting with Cortney getting hit by a car...till now.  I think the hardest we have ever had.  Throughout the tough times though, we have pulled together and become even better friends.  Even through all the stress we have been happy.  Everyday.  We realize how blessed we are.  Just the opportunity to be pregnant again was a wonderful thing.  I would always think to myself on especially hard days, a lot of people would do anything to be pregnant...be grateful.  And I was.  

I bonded earlier than usual with the baby in my tummy, I just really loved him from the beginning. When I found out something wrong, and had to start monitoring his every movement, I really came to cherish every single roll and stretch that he did.  Every hiccup was a sign that he was still alive and well.  I won't lie...the last 4 weeks have been some of the most stressful ever, it was really hard.  But I would lie in bed and hold my tummy he would move and I would be calm.  

When I was getting ready to push Theo out, I started crying.  I didn't know if I was ready, I was scared.  Overwhelmed.  It was the moment of truth and I just wanted everything to be okay.   You can see my relief in the pictures after he was born.  He had made it alive, he was crying and breathing, and he was that baby that I already loved.  He was here.  It was such an emotional day. 

I looked at him and he looked normal.  (I don't know what I was looking for, but he looked just like my other kids)  They cleaned him up and left him in my room for the rest of the day.  I was in shock.  Where were the tubes??  Why wasn't he whisked away when he was born like I thought.  I had prepared myself for the worst and hadn't prepared myself for the fact that I might just have him with me like it was no thing. 

I have said before that I wasn't nursing this time.  I went back and forth on it, but in the end decided it would be best for both of us if I were healthy.  It was so different giving the baby a bottle in the hospital.  I won't lie though, I liked it.  I miss nursing so much.  And my hormones have been CRAZY.  But when you have a tinsy tiny baby, it is nice to know they are getting milk.  I can count the ounces.  I like that.  

The next morning Theo had a brain ultrasound, so they could get a more detailed look at what we were dealing with.  My nurse came back to me afterwards with the baby and showed me the radiologists report.  I just saw it for one split second, but there were the words...written by a doctor...Normal brain ultrasound.  Theo's brain looked normal to the radiologist.  Even the tech told the nurse that he didn't see a real difference in size in the left and right cerebellum.  

I saw Theo's brain in probably 8 different ultrasounds in utero.  With 3 different doctors all finding the same results.  

My baby was healed.  

When the nurse showed me the papers...I didn't believe it.  I didn't understand.  How could that be possible?  I asked the doctor the next morning as he did rounds...he said the brain looked just fine.  

I told Cortney the morning we left to the hospital to have Theo, "Well Cort, we either believe in all of this fasting and praying or we don't...and we do."  We knew that morning when we left that things were going to go just as they were supposed to go.  

I was so overwhelmed by the amount of people we had praying for us.  My little nieces and nephews were fasting for us.  Oliver fasted for us.  Cousins, aunts and uncles, brothers and sisters, parents, friends, neighbors, ward members, grandparents. I could feel the prayers, and support I really could.  And you know what...it worked. 

All last month I taught sharing time and the lessons were about Prayer, with the last 2 weeks centered around "Heavenly Father hears and answers my prayers".  As I struggled through that time of unknowing it was such a blessing to be teaching these basic gospel principles to the children.  

"Ask, and it shall be given unto you; seek, and ye shall find; knock, and it shall be opened unto you."  3 Nephi 14:7

I just kept remembering this scripture and telling the kids that if they ask it shall be given them.  I knew the same applied to me.  

I am so grateful for the reminder of the little simple things.  Thankful for the opportunity to have the faith of a little child, and just believe.  

While we were in the hospital we learned a little more about the CMV virus that I had tested positive for (I won't lie I was freaking out).  Turns out I didn't test positive with the virus, but I tested positive for antibodies that mean I have had the virus at some point in my life.  This would only be dangerous for Theo if I got the virus while I was pregnant with him.  So we talked to our doctor, who talked to the infectious diseases doctor, and they decided to have Theo tested for the virus.  If he had it, it can cause all kinds of birth defects, from mental retardation to hearing loss.  Not only that but he would be a carrier of the disease and wouldn't be able to be around pregnant women.  Everyone everywhere is pregnant.  I needed to know if he had this or not.  I didn't want to be passing it on.  They took FOUR samples of pee.  Spilling the first one and losing the second.  They even had to place a catheter to get it. Poor baby.  I got the results back yesterday for that test.  It said NOT DETECTED.  

I felt like I could finally blog about his health.  Here he was totally normal just small.  The things I am dealing with are just the preemie kind of things you deal with.  Even then he is doing so much better then most 4 lb babies out there.  The kids a SUPERSTAR I am telling you.  

I took him to the doctor on monday, everything looked great.  He weighed in at 4 lbs 5 oz.  Still down an ounce from his birth weight but up from when he was released at 4 lbs 3 oz.  He is eating good.  He is peeing good.  The only thing they are worried about now is his body temperature is low.  I went in again on Tuesday and it was even lower.  The nurse in the office said she hardly ever sees a baby that small out of the hospital.  We feel more than lucky here. 

PHEWWW that is a lot of reading to get to the end of this.  

For now I am just staying in my house.  No store, no fun, just me and the boys inside waiting around.  Waiting for Theo to get bigger and not be so fragile.  

My ward has totally been taking care of me with meals.  I feel so humbled and blessed.  I also feel loved.  

It has been such an emotional roller coaster.  I can't believe he is here. He is amazing. 

A miracle...that is for sure. Prayer works.  I am so grateful for yours.  

The big day part 2

UPDATE...Theo is now home.  He came home yesterday.  It was quite the surprise since they said it could be anywhere from 2-7 days.  I was pretty scared to bring him home but now that he is here I am remembering that I can do this.  I totally got this.  Haha. 

Here are some more pictures of the big day.

My first look at him.

If that isn't his mom's scowl I don't know what is.

First baba.

My nurses Lindsay and Debbie....LOVED them. 

My kids came to visit a little after he was born.  Our first family picture.

Henry isn't too thrilled about this whole thing.

boice boys

Cute huh??

Grandma, Cali and Joe came by for a visit. 

Then Linh (yeah I look pretty tired at this point I think it was around 10 pm).

Jason and KaeLynn came next. 

This is my night nurse Vicki, I had her both nights and actually had her with my last baby too.  I loved her, and was pretty sad to say goodbye to her.