Monday Morning Musings...

I have a bunch of stuff I want to journal...but I know a lot of people don't like a lot of words with out pictures...Just skip this.

All weekend we spent every second at Cali and Joey's for March Madness (well starting thursday actually). It was really really fun, but I am exhausted. We made some dang good food...watched some AMAZING games (go cougs) and just sat around (trying to keep our kids out of the theater). My kids are more than exhausted they are mean...I don't know how long it is going to take for them to get caught up. The weekend was even better because my cousin Angie was in town...so we got to hang out with her too.

When I wasn't at Cali's I was at church meetings. I had three this weekend. At one they were trying to teach me everything I needed to know for scouting...scouting is weird. I know nothing about it and I don't get it at all. Turns out there are a ton of meetings that I am supposed to be going to but I haven't been. I need a scouting for dummy's book. Seriously.

My house is a mess...we didn't eat here much this weekend but we also didn't do dishes...not once. There is nothing that makes me madder than waking up to a dirty sink. I hate it. I tried to get some Saturday cleaning done (once I got home from my 8 am meeting) but both Cortney and the boys were crying about it so I just gave up. (I don't want to be raising a bunch of boys that aren't going to help their wives clean...that is my worst nightmare...) Oh and for the record...Cortney always helps me...I am not complaining about that...he is practically my man servant...haha.

I forced Henry to the ground and made him taste some banana cream pie...he bawled his brains out and then gagged until I cleaned his mouth out. Crazy kid...how can a chubby kid like him not eat pie. It doesn't make sense. (he did the same thing with sour cream...)

Yesterday was Henry's 3rd time in nursery. He cried so hard when we left him. When I went to check on him 5 minutes later someone was holding him and he was crying (like red face, slobber and snot everywhere crying). I stayed in there until he was playing and not noticing me and then snuck out. It was like he finally realized that this nursery thing wasn't going away. Poor baby. They said he cries every time someone opens the door. They also said he LOVES snack time.

I have been thinking a lot about being super strong in the church...and how to raise kids that are super strong in the church. I hope I can do it.

One of the biggest things that has been going on is that my rheumatoid arthritis has gotten pretty bad again. I went off my methotrexate in September so I could start planning to get pregnant again (you need to be off the drug for 3 months before you can start trying). Then when Cortney was laid off in January, I thought there was a good chance I was already pregnant, so I didn't worry too much when my Enbrel (shot) couldn't get refilled (1600 dollars without insurance). When I am pregnant I don't hurt as much. But I keep not getting pregnant, and it has taken me longer to get COBRA set up then I would have liked.

In the meanwhile I have been hurting more and more each day. I kept telling my mom "mom, I won't let it get bad, I will start my steroids before that happens.". Slowly, slowly everyday I got a little worse...until all of the sudden out of nowhere, my hands don't work. It was so slow I barely realized how it happened. It really made me think about sin...and how slowly we go along until we find ourselves in over our heads. It has really hit home with me...how easy it is to be off the path without even realizing it until you end up in the wrong town...you know?

So I woke up this morning and could barely move. It was time. Time for me to start the steroids I have been putting off this whole time. The crazy part is...my hands already feel a little better. I feel like I have some repenting to do...hahaa.

Along with my Rheumatoid Arthritis, I also have something called Sjogrens Syndrome (sounds scary huh...haha)...which is basically dry mouth and dry eyes. My mouth and eyes don't produce saliva/tears in a normal way. I don't have tears...at all. I used to think I never cried...it turns out I probably would cry if my body actually produced tears. I can only imagine how cleansing tears streaming down my face would feel. And my poor mouth is constantly dry. Usually I don't notice the Sjogrens very much because the medicine I am usually on controls it and keeps it at bay. So along with my RA getting worse so has my Sjogrens. It is driving me crazy. Every night my eyes feel like they have 10 eyelashes in them...and my mouth...oh my mouth...it is actually painful. When I try to eat it hurts. BOO. Of course I eat anyway but it isn't fun that it stings. Things that are spicy, or have a lot of acid to them kill...and dry food...forget about it. These reasons alone would have been enough for me to start the steroids this morning. I can't wait to feel better.

Also my aunt Peggy was here last weekend...we went and watched BYU's Dancesport. My cousin Courtney was competing. It was so SO much fun. And it was so fun to see my aunt...we stayed up talking really late one night, I really love my Aunts. I have been blessed with great family...I really have.

There that is all. If you actually read all of this...wow...you are like my best friend.